Time to Binge

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Whether chocolate, Netflix, or Pamplemousse LaCroix, we all have vices we love to consume en masse. Now you can binge listen to all 13 episodes of the Sis & Tell Podcast Season 1. We're taking a break to relaunch and will start Season 2 this Fall.

In the meantime, you can reminisce with a sis. And yes, I do drink so much LaCroix that my pee is carbonated. 

Listen at sisandtell.com

Sis & Tell is a weekly podcast hosted by sisters Alison Goldstein Lebovitz from PBS' The A List and comedian Amanda Goldstein Marks.

Trolling for Attention

My husband tries to get in the Zone 1 boarding line at the airport, when our tickets clearly indicate we're Zone 4.  This is what embarrasses me: breaking rules.  But there are other things that don't embarrass me that, perhaps, should. Like what I'm about to tell you.

I'm an internet troll.

But instead of interrupting usual conversations, I troll my Facebook Messenger's "Other" Folder. Do you spot it down below to the right of the Inbox? Most people don't know about the "Other" Folder (or ignore it).  

It's where messages go from people you're not Facebook Friends with. It's where Spam goes to die.  It's also where I go to learn about banks in foreign countries that want to give me money, how cheap I can get Viagra and that I am, perhaps, too good at taking selfies for my Facebook Profile Pics. The fodder I find is not in the one-way messages of strangers, but rather in the conversations that ensue when I actually respond.  I don't respond to all messages, but when I do it goes something like this:




Curly Q's: Frequently Asked Questions about My Jewfro

I was born with an unruly personality and hair that matched. As if Samson, I've always been convinced the two are intertwined.  Take away my curls and you take away my power. But, honey, these luscious locks aren't going anywhere. Believe me. I tried.

In college, I had the Level 3 chemical straightener applied to my hair. It still took three hours to flat iron and then minutes later, my curls would revolt. Back to Jewfro I'd go.  I've learned to love my crazy curls. Now my motto is: The Bigger the Better.

But no matter how I've worn my hair, I've always been the field rep for Jewfros.  So I've compiled the top five questions I've been getting since the beginning of my time. Feel free to submit your inquiries via my contact page. In the mean time, please check this list of... 

Frequently Asked Curly Q's

  • Question 1: Is that your real hair?

I was at De La Soul concert and overheard two gentlemen discussing my hair and questioning whether or not a 'white girl' could have hair like mine.  And, yes! Yes we can.  So I turned around and said, "yes! My hair is real!"  It's neither weave nor perm.  This wasn't the first time I've been asked this and it's usually coupled with "is your hair that black or do you dye it?"  I was asked that when I was 12 and the answer was I don't dye.  Ask me again and you will.

  • Question 2: Can I pull it?

Someone once said to me, "I just want to pull your hair. I wanna pull it!"  And it wasn't an old boyfriend.  In fact, it was a female stranger.  Mostly I assume this is a rhetorical question. So I only answer with a dirty look.

  • Question 3: Can I touch it?

I answer this question with a question: Are you my hair stylist?

  • Question 4: What ethnicity are you?

I think what people really want to ask me is: Are you Jewish? Is that why you have that hair? But I like to confuse them and say I'm Eastern European, I'm Turkish and from Alabama.  All true. And together.... all very confusing.

  • Question 5: Do you have a pen?

I know what you're thinking... "Does she have a pen?"  I know this seemingly has nothing to do with hair. But if you ever need anything chances are I can either find it hidden in my purse.... or in my Jewfro.

 

Giving the Finger to Nose Picking

I relinquish to the fact that 100% of my children have, will or currently pick their nose.  Being that I'm a glass half-full type person  (or in this case a tissue box completely full),  I began to wonder: Are there benefits to this ill-mannered impulse? So I decided that instead of giving the finger to this inevitable childhood pastime that I'd rather extract the positives.

 

The Benefits of Nose-Picking 

[As Justified by an Underachieving Mother]

  1. Save money on tissues

  2. No need to prepare appetizers

  3. A great way to introduce French with terms like faux pas and amuse-bouche

  4. Keeps finger tips warm (cold weather only)

  5. Keeps children from pointing at physical differences of strangers