Dear Ryan Gosling,
Let me be frank, I stalked you today and it was disappointing. The only reason I went looking for you is because my friend Brooke, who is 40,000 weeks pregnant, was stuck at work and she couldn't stalk you. I was her proxy. My only lead was: The Facebook. And the fact that you had been in Criminal Records about 20 minutes before I arrived on scene.
I'm not built to be a Paparazzi, Ryan Gosling. But I did come up with a check list of what I needed to do to prepare, much like The Meisner Technique.
Evidently, I was either not incognito enough or you had left the locale before I got there. Either way, I was looking good and I was looking for a Hanukkah present.
Unfortunately, I did not really find what I needed: Neither you, nor gift. But as the saying goes:
It wasn't over. It still isn't over.
Perhaps, tomorrow I'll head Downtown, where you're shooting a movie. Plus, I hear there's great shops at The Underground.