Dishing Out Dishonesty

Yes. I lie to my kids. But don't worry, it's for a good cause.  It's called the 'Cause It's Easier. Making up a little white lie specifically about why my trio should eat healthier just seems more sensical than trying logic.  Consider this blog your Cliff Notes to food fibbing.




The Food: M&Ms

The Lie: My kids are always wondering why Mommy is popping pills.  I'm not a drug addict. I'm a chocoholic. But I've told them the 'M' on M&M stands for medicine.  Accordingly, my kiddos are avoiding Mommy's meds like they're Jenny McCarthy.





The Food: Ice Cream 

The Lie: Unfortunately the jig is up but at one point my twins believed that the ice cream truck was actually called 'the scary musical van.'




The Food: Green Beans

The Lie: Why is everything more adorable in miniature and more delicious when it's frozen?. Reason: It's science! Which is why I've told my kids that the frozen green beans are tiny Fla-Vor-Ice Pops. 





The Food: Broccoli

The Lie: Some little girls are obsessed with having Barbies. Mine is obsessed with having boobies. She's only 5, but is already covetous of my cleavage. So when she refused to eat her broccoli the other night, I whispered in her ear "they'll give you boobies when you're a teenager" and she quickly ate it up.  






The Food: Halloween Candy

The Lie: I totally overestimated how many Trick or Treaters we'd get and underestimated my love for buying in bulk. Five months post festivities, there is a ridiculous amount of residual Halloween candy in my home.  Every time I try to throw it away, my husband responds like I'm trying to take his wallet instead of protect his waistline. And the kids have turned into a Cirque de Soleil act to get to his 'secret" hiding spot on the pantry's top shelf.  So I sprang into action with the best lie ever -- the Tooth Fairy is my Facebook Friend and candy is her fiend. When I see them trying to get conniving with the corn syrup I just invoke the power of the Tooth Fairy's imaginary Facebook Page. Of course this is not the truth. After all, the Tooth Fairy is only on Instagram.

The Food: Pretty Much Any Meal

The Lie:  My littlest dude refuses to keep his rump in one place during dinner.  But don't worry: "There's an app for that!" Kind of. One night I was totally fed up with my frolicking five-year-old so pretended to download an app that could control his body.  He's so worried about it that he now sits still for supper time.  Problem solved!



Fine Print: The big lie -- only the broccoli one is true.  ;)