Why Not a Beastie Resolution?

I know myself. I’ve been the same person since I was 5, except now I can buy my own candy, I’ve got boobs and I’m a much better driver. So every year my New Year’s resolution is the same: Don’t make New Year’s resolutions. Because whatever I could resolve to do that’s different than my usual, I know I will cease doing within a few weeks.  It’s not because I’m lazy (which I am). It’s not because I’m not motivated (which I’m not). It’s because I am (like most) a creature of habit. I watch too much TV. I take pride in the fact that I don’t run. And I’m very judgmental and wary of people who do not like the Beastie Boys.

Around the New Year we reminisce, reassess and resolve. And this year, I'm thinking maybe I can resolve to live differently or at least, maybe I should think about it.  So I looked towards the Beastie Boys as my influence for a 2015 of resolutions I can perhaps achieve.  Here are some lyrics that I have found hidden meaning from to inspire a Beastie Resolution in my life.

  • The Lyric: Coolin' on the corner on a hot summer day; Just me, my posse and M.C.A. (Album: License to Ill; Song: The New Style)

The Hidden Meaning: Spend more time with my friends and family. Make them listen to the Beastie Boys. Also maybe create an Atlanta MCA Day.

  • The Lyric: With bottle in hand at the microphone stand (Album: License to Ill; Song: Slow Ride)

The Hidden Meaning: I seriously need to do more karaoke....while drinking.

  • The Lyric: I got trees on my mirror so my car won't smell (Album: License to Ill; Song: Slow Ride)

The Hidden Meaning: I've got a bouillabaisse of kids' snacks available at any given moment on our minivan's floor board. I need to do a better job of keeping our swagger wagon clean.

  • The Lyric: What's up with your bad breath onion rings (Album: Paul's Boutique; Song: Shake Your Rump)

The Hidden Meaning: Stop telling my husband his breath smells. It hurts his feelings. But also stop making him onion rings.

  • The Lyric: It's finger lickin', finger lickin' good, y'all (Album: Check Your Head; Song: Finger Lickin' Good)

The Hidden Meaning: I had been a vegetarian for 19 years but kept on having reoccurring dreams about Publix's fried chicken. So I ate it.  I've been questioning this choice, but now I realize it was a good one. I'm going to eat more fried chicken in 2015.  It's finger lickin' good y'all. And frankly, tofu doesn't cut it.

  • The Lyric: 'Cause life ain't nothing but a good groove; A good mix tape to put you in the right mood (Album: Check Your Head; Song: Professor Booty)

The Hidden Meaning: Things don't make people happy in the long run. But music does.  In 2015, I vow to stop purchasing toys for my kids for their birthdays and Hanukkah and instead find my old double deck boom box and make a solid mix tape for them instead. They'll totally appreciate the thought.

  • The Lyric: If you want a doodoo rhyme then come see me (Album: Ill Communication; Song: Sure Shot)

The Hidden Meaning: My kids are afraid of the toilet, which is why they always need my company. In 2015, I'm going to get more creative about getting them to be independent poopers by penning my own rap about the potty. Something like "These trips to the potty are making me a bit petulant. Wipe your own tush or you're out of the Will and Testament."

All in all these are resolutions I can stick to.  Whether or not I keep them after a month is another scenario. Even if life is status quo come February,my motto about life is: I get it, I got it, I know it's good. Happy 2015, y'all!

Are there any Beastie Boys rhymes that inspire you? Share below.