MMMM Drop Episode 2: White Castle Fries Only Come in One Size / by Amanda Marks

MMMM Drop Episode 2: White Castle Fries Only Come in One Size

Comedian Amanda Marks recreates White Castle-style crinkle fries inspired by the Beastie Boys lyric from “Slow and Low” off Licensed to Ill, plus a cucumber salad inspired by “Cool as a Cucumber in a Bowl of Hot Sauce” from “So What’cha Want” on Check Your Head. Part cooking show, part comedy show, part Gen X food nostalgia experiment.

I live in Atlanta, and despite approximately 48 years of pop culture references, Beastie Boys lyrics, and living in NYC, I have never actually eaten at White Castle.

The closest thing we have are frozen White Castle burgers from the Piggly Wiggly.

And honestly? For Southerners, White Castle is basically Krystal. Tiny steamed burgers. Slightly questionable life decisions. Strong regional loyalty. Same emotional support category that is usually redeemed at 3am after a night of drinking.

Apparently the nearest real White Castle to Atlanta is Nashville, which feels less like “fast food” and more like a pilgrimage.

So for Episode 2 of MMMM Drop, my Beastie Boys-inspired cooking show, I decided to make my own White Castle-style crinkle fries inspired by the lyric:

“White Castle fries only come in one size.” (Beastie Boys’s Licensed to Ill; Slow and Low)

The fries are double-fried in peanut oil until extra crispy, salty, and dangerously easy to keep eating while standing over the stove pretending you’re “just testing one.”

I also made a cucumber dish inspired by:

“Cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce.” (Beastie Boys Check Your Head; So What’cha Want)

Originally, I was trying to make more of a dipping sauce with a little nod to tzatziki, but then I overloaded the cucumbers and accidentally made a really delicious side salad instead. Which worked out because I absolutely still dipped fries into it anyway.

The result is part comedy show, part cooking show, and part deeply specific Gen X hip-hop food fever dream with a Pee Wee Herman influence.

White Castle Fries Dupe Recipe

Ingredients

  • 4 russet potatoes

  • Peanut oil for frying

  • 2 tablespoons kosher salt

Directions

  1. Peel and cut potatoes into crinkle fries.

  2. Soak in cold water for 1 hour.

  3. Dry completely.

  4. Fry at 325 degrees for 5 minutes.

  5. Let rest 10 minutes.

  6. Fry again at 375 degrees until golden and crispy.

  7. Salt immediately.

Cool as a Cucumber in a Bowl of Hot Sauce Salad

Ingredients

  • 1 large cucumber, chopped

  • 1 tablespoon diced jalapeño

  • 1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt

  • 1 tablespoon white vinegar

  • Juice of 1/2 lime

  • 1 teaspoon garlic powder

  • 1 teaspoon dried dill

  • 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt

Directions

  1. Blend yogurt, jalapeño, vinegar, lime juice, garlic powder, dill, and salt until smooth.

  2. Toss with chopped cucumber.

  3. Chill for 30 minutes before serving.

About MMMM Drop

MMMM Drop is a comedy cooking show hosted by comedian Amanda Marks inspired by Beastie Boys lyrics, nostalgic food references, pop culture, and chaotic kitchen energy. Each episode takes a lyric and turns it into an actual dish, usually with at least one accidental detour along the way.